Where are you?
In a non slutty way
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
