We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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