I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
foreskin is a definite game changer
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
