If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
