i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
