isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
