Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
ttyl tear gas
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
