I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
