paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
