I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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