I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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