Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
