Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
