My sheets look like a crime scene.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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