I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
