Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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