I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
