We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
ok first of all what the fuck
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
