we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
