Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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