i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
