I wish I could punch you in the face.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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