what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize