My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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