Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Fuck appropriateness.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
