She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
