Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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