found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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