You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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