OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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