I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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