How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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