I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
