just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
