I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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