I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
