I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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