Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
