It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
only you would photoshop your dick
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
