so that wasnt chicken after all
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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