I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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