Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
