Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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