she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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