She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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