I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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