I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
