I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
