Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So many bounce houses so little time
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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