Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
